How to Extract Your Head From Your Butt!

by Durt E. Phorseps

Now here is a book you have needed for the last decade! Well... that's what I heard... Get a copy of this and get started!

Avoid the expense and embarrassment of having a clear plastic window installed in your navel so that you can see where you are going in life!

People are ecstatic at the results they've been getting:

"After successfully using method number three - the one using the pick-axe and the nylon strap - I can actually tie my shoes again! Thanks so much!" - Senator Webee Yoosliss

Buy a bunch of these. Send them to all those politicians I told you NOT to vote for. Pile a bunch in the front seat of your car. Next Joe Q. Idiot turns left from the right lane, pull him over and hand him a copy! Send one to all those people who annoy you like bankers and attorneys. (If you ARE a banker or attorney, then you may need two copies!)

Truth is, this is just for fun. It's only a cover. The inside pages are blank. That way I don't have to hire someone to write 64 pages of nonsense. And I don't have to pay to have the pages printed. That and other reasons allow me to bring the cost way down and practically give away copies. They're cheap! Buy a bunch and hand 'em out. Have some fun with them!

When your victim points out that the pages are blank, you merely point out this paragraph at the bottom of the backcover:

"The pages of this book will appear blank to a small number of people whose cranium is especially deeply embedded in their colo-rectal canal. Their condition is so serious that the proven techniques detailed in this manual will probably be of little value. Should you be one of these unfortunate few, relief may only be possible with the use of powerful winches and/or explosives. Seek assistance from an excavating company."

Another looney, totally useless "book" from Lindsay Publications. Be politically incorrect. Buy a quantity and send them out. (Or sell them to suckers for a lot more than you paid...) 5-1/2 x 8-1/2 softcover 64 blank pages

No. 4010 ... $1.50

Four copies - save $1.00 --- No. 951 ... $5.00
(counts as one book for shipping & handling)

Ten copies - save $5.00 ---- No. 952 ..$10.00
(counts as two books for shipping & handling)