Lindsay
has built a
BRAIN ALIGNMENT MACHINE!
and just in time! Lindsay could never understand why the steering wheel in his rusted out pickup truck was turned to one side and why he had to fight the wheel to keep the truck traveling straight down the road.
Then someone suggested he get the front end aligned. Lindsay was so impressed with the improvement he ran out into his shop and built a device to align the human (and sub-human) brain. He reasoned that people were bizarre because they had hit too many mental pot holes traveling down the road of life. Their cerebral front end was all bent out of shape. So he built a machine to get their cranial caster and camber back where it should be.
Before he could test it on one of us, we snuck up on him, clamped it on his head and turned it on. What we didn't know was that he had built the machine for 110 volts, and we had plugged it into 220!
To make a long story short it seems to have worked. He seems to be a little more toward the center of the road (anything is an improvement) although his eyes now point in different directions, one ear is lower than the other, and his bald spot is scorched... just minor details...
Please buy books so we can get the machine shipped to Washington DC where it is really needed.
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