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That ornery Unka Dave Gingery has caused so much trouble lately in and out of the Lindsay Publications machine shop that we had to lock him up in the front office broom closet and post four security guards out front to keep him and the angry mob separated. But At the far left is "Torch" Toandef, a pyromaniac who went so far as to set fire to Unka Dave's wooden leg back in '38. He's been in and out of restraints since he tried to incinerate the bronze statue of Lawrence Welk sitting on Lindsay's desk. Next is Herman "No Thumbs" Humbagle who is known throughout these parts as a pyscho with an addiction to grinding wheels. Whenever he spots a grinder, he turns it on and starts grinding whatever he can find: a fire extinguisher, the foreman's false teeth, the machine shop dog, anything and everything. He even ground both of his thumbs off before he realized what he had done. "Wild Bill" Ballcock just got out of prison after doing twenty years for taking indecent liberties with a milling machine. This is one twisted guy you don't want to cross paths with. And to the far right is Wyatt Twerp. Even at 11 years of age, he had already spent several years in the Home for Mechanically Deviant Waifs after having been caught putting poop sacks spiked with nitroglycerine on doorsteps all over town. Warning: it would not be in your best interest to visit the Lindsay machine shop at the present time. (Just order books, instead...) |
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